Hall's post | Quora

Why I’m Obsessed with the Power of “xem” Okay, let’s get real for a second—have you ever come across a word or concept that just instantly clicks with you? Like, you see it somewhere online, or hear someone mention it, and suddenly it’s living rent-free in your head? That’s exactly what happened to me the first time I stumbled upon “xem.” So… What’s “xem” Anyway? If you’re scratching your head right now, don’t worry—I was too at first! “Xem” is a gender-neutral pronoun, but honestly, it’s way more than that. It’s about freedom—freedom to define yourself, freedom to exist outside of boxes, and freedom to be seen for who you are. When I first read someone using “xem/xyr” pronouns in a Twitter bio, I was fascinated. Not only did it make me curious, but it also made me reflect on how language shapes the way we see and treat each other. Why Does “xem” Matter? I grew up in a pretty traditional environment, and for the longest time, I thought there were just two options—he or she. But the more I got into online communities (shoutout to Tumblr, which taught me way more about gender than any textbook ever could), the more I realized how important it is to have pronouns that actually fit people’s identities. The first time I introduced myself to someone who uses “xem”—let’s call xem Alex—I remember feeling a bit nervous. I didn’t want to mess up, but Alex was super chill and patient. What struck me was how natural it felt after just a few minutes. Like, why should it be weird to respect someone’s pronouns? What’s so hard about saying “I was talking to Alex today and xem shared the coolest playlist with me”? The Details That Make All the Difference Here’s the thing: language is powerful. I’ve seen firsthand how using the right pronouns can light someone up, make them feel seen, respected, and included. It’s a small detail that can change someone’s entire day. When I started making an effort to learn and use neopronouns like “xem,” I noticed my world getting a little bigger and a lot more colorful. It’s not just about being “politically correct”—it’s about human connection. I remember hanging out at a local LGBTQ+ meetup, and someone introduced themselves as “Taylor—xem/xyr.” The conversation that followed was honestly one of the most open and authentic I’ve had in a while. We talked music, dreams, and even shared some memes (obviously). And every time I used xem’s pronouns, I could see this little spark of joy in xyr eyes. My Honest Thoughts (And a Little Reality Check) Look, I’m not going to pretend I haven’t slipped up. It happens! But what matters is trying, learning, and being open. Sometimes people judge or roll their eyes, but honestly, I think that says more about them than it does about someone using “xem.” If you’re someone who’s never tried using neopronouns before, it can feel a bit awkward at first—but like most things, practice makes perfect. For me, the biggest reward has been the connections I’ve made. It’s wild how something as simple as a word can help build trust and make someone feel at home. And isn’t that what we all want, at the end of the day? A Little Call to Action 🚀 So here’s my two cents: next time you meet someone who uses “xem” (or any neopronoun), don’t freak out. Just ask questions, listen, and give it a try. Who knows? You might just make someone’s day, and you’ll definitely make your world a bit brighter and more inclusive. Let’s keep making space for everyone—because language is for all of us, and there’s room enough for every pronoun under the sun. Have you ever used “xem” or another neopronoun? Share your experience below! Let’s chat and help each other grow.